“Darling, tonight I am your submissive slavegirl!” Your sweet girlfriend suddenly tells you. Your partner has casually stated that she would like to have a harder gait during her lovemaking, sometimes with fetters? Many women want a dominant partner in bed to indulge in, not someone who is always refusing oral sex, and someone who likes fingering with long nails yet still enjoys it. How to become a real dome? In the following text you will find important tips for your way to become a good Dominus.
What does Dom and Sub mean?
Hardly an extraordinary, erotic preference has become as sociable as sexual games of power and submission. In these constellations of a special kind there is a dominant, ie leading and determining part, also called Dom, Dominus, Lord or Master and a submissive, so serving and submissive part, also called sub or slave. Pain can play a role, but of course, they are not a must. Personally, I discovered the dominant side of myself 15 years ago and have been enjoying this erotic preference of domination and submission ever since.
Discover the secret wishes and taboos of your partner
Every submissive partner wants to be tied up, humiliated and chastised! That’s not true, every woman is different. While a woman puts pain in a chastisement in the highest excitement, the other one wishes only a gentle pat on the butt. With one you have to be very loud, another one wants to hear the commands of their master rather in a dominant tone of Dirty Talk. Talk about the desires, sexual preference issues, and taboos of your sub before the RPG and commit a Safeword. Let your partner keep an anonymous journal, either online as a blog or in an accessible but safe booklet, in which she has to report her most intimate experiences as a sub painstakingly detailed. As a good dome you will feel the secret wishes of your partner and fulfill them with pleasure, because only then do you get what you want, a partner who does everything for you and shows complete obedience. If you’re confused on choosing the right sex swing for your partner’s bdsm needs, head over here.
Be your own master
As a good dome, you have to be in perfect control of every imaginable situation. You are responsible for your partner and your mutual well-being. She has to feel physically and emotionally safe with you. She wants a strong shoulder, which you can only offer her if you are master of yourself. Practice self-control and self-assurance. This is the same trait required for great cooking. So, show who the sexy chef is and hold the reins firmly under control. Your partner will thank you with absolute subservience and reward you with respect and obedience.
Dominant gestures increase the erotic
An unmistakable look in the eyes, a decisive grip on the hair, a pat at the right time and an always firm and confident voice: These are all varieties that give my wishes a dominant expression and that my partners appreciate,you are allowed to tackle hard as a cathedral where else caresses are appropriate. Test how your partner reacts to it and stop in time if you realize that it is getting too much.
Control is an important tool to make your partner absolutely willing. As Dom you take over the Orgasm. A good dome drives the partner to the brink of insanity by always irritating her to the outside and then denying them the redemptive satisfaction.
If the partner asks questions like: Can I finally come? May I ever come? When may I or how often do I have to? Did you make it, because then their complete satisfaction lies in your hand, Orgasm control is a supreme discipline of any good master. The control of the climax can not only increase its intensity to gigantic heights, but also be an indescribable feeling for you as a cathedral. After all, the complete satisfaction of the woman is in your hands. At the same time, the control is also a means of pressure, so as to fulfill your own wishes. Believe me, if you master this technique, every woman will do anything for you just to finally come.
A hint of helplessness
No matter if ropes, handcuffs or a strong cloth: Many things that are at hand are suitable for tying your partner. Always make sure that the restraints are not too tight and no nerves or sensitive blood vessels are irritated, otherwise your imagination knows no bounds. A little bondage makes your partner defenseless and at best completely helpless. It is important that she cannot solve the shackles independently. Let her feel her powerlessness so that she can let herself go. Only the use of the Safewords may prematurely end bondage. Therefore check beforehand which restraints are firm but at the same time not dangerous. If you then ignore her pleading and begging without batting an eyelid and only release the shackles, if you think it is right, she will be completely in bondage to you.
Lust instead of pity
It may sound crazy to many, but as a Dominus your partner will not be sorry for you even in hard situations. On the contrary, what she seeks in a good master is hardness, severity, dominance, helplessness, humiliation. In case of disobedience the sub has to be punished. Rejecting, wailing, and pleading for mercy are part of the game and should not obviously affect the sentence, otherwise the sub would gain power over you. Punishments can be bondage, verbal or physical humiliation or punishment. Only when pain thresholds are reached should a good dome pronounce a pardon. Also in the case he can transform the punishment, e.g. instead of chastisement the partner must satisfy her gentleman with a Blowjob.
Tasks and role-plays
Imagine imaginative role playing games for your sub. Let her wear only sexy lingerie and collar except shackles. Create tasks for them with rewards and penalties, such as hot wax games or spanking. Let her read erotic reading or watch BDSM porn together, and then reenact her. For this you need know How to use a sex sling more creatively. You can visit cumswingwithme.com for more info.
Your duties as a cathedral at BDSM
If you have clarified the framework and taboos of a session with the sub in advance, you should strictly lead your sub in this context: Your commands and rules, the sub must obey unconditionally and immediately. Your rules must not be broken. It is very unreel for the submissive partner when your command is gelatinized. This would challenge your role as a cathedral and undermine the principles of power.
Unambiguous means that the sub must not ask what exactly is meant or how exactly it should be done. Therefore, it is usually better to tell the sub in detail what to do. Control freaks have an advantage.
Executable means that the sub must at least try to execute the command. Otherwise the relevance would be missing and the command would be meaningless for the sub.